Being a fan of Thor 2

 It is funny... the things that hit home to me. I use the word "I" a lot. I suppose a lot of teenagers do. We are all in our own little world... most have been there and most of you know what I mean. Everyone is the same and so different. I relate to things that are so unique such as movies or stories.
A couple of years ago I posted a blog right here on a movie with a story line that I had never heard of. Some story based off of a comic book called "Thor". Since then a lot of things have changed but, many have stayed the same. For example I still like drive-in's, getting way to excited over silly things, looking at the sky, and getting excited over a new movie like this one. It's been three years and I never thought there would be another Thor movie I didn't think it was going to be that big a deal and it wouldn't have been if there weren't other people in the world with some sort of relation to the bad guy (like me). Isn't that odd though? For a long time, I thought that all people needed to here the same thing I did which was "I relate to you". I never got that but, God gave me the chance to see it in other people (the things I relate to, I mean). I won't be daft I still do think that a lot of people do need that, just from the right person at the right time.
That's where Loki comes in... we all have this inner regret in us sometimes of things we did, should've done, or would've done. The emotion put into a character is important to me but, sometimes it isn't always just the emotion but, why they feel that way. Having a sister I never want her to feel alone as I have. I want her to never feel like she can't do what she CAN do. I have so many problems like selfishness, pride, a lack of respect in some areas (etc.). The reason Loki is a bad guy is because he didn't take stress management well... he is quiet, held back, and he let anger boil in him that came out in a gorgeously smooth way because his brother left him in the shadows without realizing.
If you put yourself in his shoes for just a moment... being covered by a shadow... you might see what I mean.
I have put a lot of thought into this. This movie, like Doctor Who, is fun to watch to me because it makes me think about the real world and how we handle the things we are given and WHY we handle them the way we do.
A lot of people don't understand why I like this character my simple answer is that "I relate". Not to being a world dominating, eyeball stealing, smooth bad guy but, to being someone who has been hurt and doesn't know how to handle what has been given to him... unlike him we can handle this better (and he still has the chance to... he just might). I am thankful to have 2nd chances. God is great!
I am way to excited about this movie... I like the creepy excitement though even if it freaks people out. I welcome the energy of having something and someone else to relate to. So, that God can lead me and teach me to choose the right answers and follow the right paths. The feeling is electric... but we have to be careful about feelings don't we.
If you read this and see the movie... tell me what you think about the movie!

Real/Reality

Since school started life has been hectic.
It is always hectic. Trying to figure out how all these pieces of the puzzle will fit together and how to make everything make since. How do we avoid stress? Well I find the BEST way is to give it to God but, we humans have problems with that REAL problems... more like excuses. We always have a problem with something. You may even have a problem with me saying that we all have a problem you may think that that is me being way to tough (it's not, it is tough love... moving on). Nobody is perfect and everyone learns. Everyone loves, all people make mistakes, disobey, think the wrong thing, get happy or excited, look ridiculous. Our challenge is to not let those oddities get under our skin to the point to where everything happening is a problem. Over the past few weeks things have been perfect... almost too perfect. This is another one of those times where I realize how different and silly I feel without problems. Sometimes I do the ridiculous and create them. Then sometimes I just sit on it and take it in.
The point is, is that we all have little weird things about us but, that is life isn't it? Nobody is flawless except God. Even Jesus had to pass gas he had "problems". I have my flaws but, I cannot stand sitting on them I sometimes can't stand having them but, I am not perfect and it will be a long time before I get there. Time is a factor in all this which leads me back to stress, giving it all to God and working through problems because in all reality our problems are not really problems when we give them up and sometimes our problems are in our head. Majority of the time they are very real though... that is why no matter what type of odd stress we have or challenge, God wants it, so we don't have to worry about it.
The funny thing about being 17 which isn't really funny at all is that we are in this awkward between stage that sounds and looks desperate and needy. We all look confused and act like we have it all figured out. We are all lonely and some of us are looking for a missing piece but, underneath a whole lot of junk we are all a lot alike in ways. We all are not kids and not adults and we are expected to act like adults with a good deal of responsibilities. Tonight I was walking around among a big crowd and 2 things happened that caught my attention.
The 1st was a boy, (now this was admittedly funny) I was wondering through usual thoughts about pieces of my self and who I want to be when I thought "No ma'am this body is NOT on the market for any man but God." When a seven foot boy looked at me and grinned that was when the most common girlish thing happened... my heart leaped and for the billionth time I responded with the question... "what do I want God?" The 2nd thing was group of kids... I know I sound desperately lonely when I say this but, I am not and you do need to keep in mind that I am a 17 year old girl who lives with her family that is just about all she sees. That is a big change when you move from hanging around 500 kids everyday to actually interacting with about 10 people per day (usually less). My head is just about always in the books. Back to the group of kids: there were 4 of them (again admittedly funny) and they were smoking. One girl and 3 guys all hanging out laughing. They were "of the world" but, having so much fun. It made me happy for them but also a bit envious of what they had. Something that (as desperate as I sound) I long for again. God has been the light unto my feet and I don't want every problem I have solved because then there would be no mystery. No mystery in life. So, that I can go through all my days not comparing one segment of life to the other.
We are all making decisions all living and stumbling through deciding what is real (God) or what is reality (the world...) because 'the world' wants you to only see there very unreal reality (it'll make since if you've been there or when you get there... or maybe not at all you get the gist!)
Honestly, the past few weeks have had me thinking. I love life and life... (like the Hannah Montana song) is what you make it. It can be filled with complaints or filled with dread to wake in the morning. We make that decision.
I only pray that you have the ears to hear if you need to hear. I love you all! Good night! God's Night! God Bless!

Bilbo

Last Sunday after church I sat down for the worship leaders monthly meeting.
Warriors off to talk about the battle plan. Really the meetings are just to get on the same page with one another and God and talk in depth about what is up. I enjoy the meetings and look forward to them. They always seem to open doors. I guess like all girls I enjoy talking about feelings.
I am blessed to be invited to be apart of these meetings.
This month's meeting was held around the change going on about the church. Three or four subjects stood out to me but, really I only want to talk about one. God wants me too, so I will.

We all get uncomfortable. There is somewhere, something(s), or someone who makes us uncomfortable. Sometimes we are bold and we take a chance and face it. Sometimes it is a fear. Sometimes it is something else entirely. We all get uncomfortable.
For me and for many others the thing or things that we are uncomfortable with we usually don't want to confront.
God wants us to. Because when we step out and away from that warm chair and hot coffee into snow and sleet and more snow and a bit of hail. The SOONER we will see. Wonders, mountains, dragons, elves, etc.
Do you get the title now?
No?
What about Frodo?
No?
Katniss?
We don't want to leave our doilies and warm fire. We don't want to leave our assurance of a safe and happy life. God wants us to though. He wants us to take the risk and put it all on the line for him.
Can you do it?
It is easier to say than do!
Pray
Live
Love
NEVER stop trying! I believe you can and I know without a doubt in my mind so does God!

Good night! and God Bless!!!

Combat Boots

I have been debating all day about what to call this blog. I thought about calling it "Identification" or "Smoothies and Mashed Potatoes" I finally decided on the title "Combat Boots". Only because it has been the topic of the day.
This morning I was over at my step-grandmothers house sorting through old junk trying to help her decide what to keep and what to sell. While searching I found this old/new pair of combat boots. They fit me perfectly or... almost perfectly they are a little big. Ever since my grandaddy died Mary has been getting rid of old stuff that has been kept over the years. She is clearing out the old and bringing in the new which is VERY healthy.
Those boots are made for women and just happened to fit. They were dusted with pollen and from a very different world than my own when I found them. Now they shine and smell like Lysol's summer breeze. The reason I bring them up in this blog is because out of all the wonderful and crazy things that have happened over the past few weeks these are the tie between them all. These boots are from a different world a pair of shoes found in a pile of junk. It is funny whats popular now and these are (in my head anyway and some actresses but that is another topic my friend).
I knew dad would like them and mom wouldn't she has (rightfully) been self conscious about what I wear as I have short hair. I have to make decisions for me though and not what the rest of the world wants (of course taking seriously every word my parents say).
If you read my dads blogs you will notice that some God movements have been happening with everyone (the Vineyard specifically moving around and out) on personal levels and spiritually.
This past weekend I was connected to a lot of things that everyone else was connected to the week before at Vineyard's worship conference. Dealing with the beginning of spiritual movements. A lot of little pieces came together and I thought I would share one of them with you (even though I would gladly love to tell more I can't possibly fit it all into a blog nor have I learned it all yet God is still working and answering questions and will be for some time now).
This pair of boots I began talking about is the center of a lot of these questions I have. Questions to God to family, cousins, and brothers and sisters (in Christ). Things I can't ask nor get answered yet. It is just not time.
"Familiar" was another title I thought about calling this blog on the simple things those that are familiar and those new things God will reveal. I like hoodies a lot if you see me with one on that means that no matter what I am doing I am in my comfort zone. If I wear a dress I most likely have a hoodie somewhere near by. The other day before I entered a meeting I went to go grab my hoodie and that was when God said "familiar" I thought "What does that mean?". He told me that the feelings I was feeling at that time which were shaky, unsure, scared, and excited were feelings of something called 'culture shock' but without any form of  actual cultural change (I was in a meeting at the Vineyard... so it wasn't unknown territory and nor was the meeting. Bottom line: somewhere I am VERY comfortable... in God's presence).
He was saying I am not ready for anything new... not yet. I have to climb the walls I am given first, then face the new challenges
Again I had a similar experience with new boots.
When you make a friend you usually have something in common with them. Whether it is the games you play, food you eat, or simply anything you do. When you go somewhere new you may face cultural shock because nothing is the same. This week I went to go visit my 2nd grandmother to be of company. Walking into her house is a lot like the definition of cultural shock to me. We don't eat the same food, drive the same type of car, watch the same form of TV shows, do the same stuff as I would normally in my spare time. I already new these things and I still love her very much. Things have changed since grandaddy passed away they were always different to me though. The house hasn't changed to much but I still go through that ache of wanting to be home after so much time. These boots made me think of my dad and my style, they made me think of Dr. Who for some reason and my mom. I like them and I can't wait to wear them. I came home today after one night of making decisions and just observing life in that household that is now without grandaddy and I spoke with both my parents about many spiritual matters. I cleaned my boots til they smelled like fresh gardens and breezes. I have this funny feeling they will be around for a long time.
There are 2 things I would like to let you know the first being: thank you for reading my thoughts. It means something to just write them but if you stayed thank you :)
The 2nd is my summery that things are changing in ways I can't possibly describe. I am not the same person I was 3 or 4 or 5 months ago. I am NOT the same as I was 3 or 4 days ago. Something is different because God is at work on a different scale grander and I am so excited!
Like John said in John Ch.3 V.28 and 29: "You yourselves bear me witness, that I said, I am not the Christ, but that I am sent before him.  He that has the bride is the bridegroom, but the friend of the bridegroom, which stands and hears him, rejoices greatly because of the bridegroom's voice: this my joy therefore is fulfilled."
Meaning that John isn't Jesus but is so excited just to live in his presence. (One way of putting things).
-Thank You and God Bless from Katie ;) Night (don't let the bed bugs bite!)

Lingering Subject

I think every person asks themselves questions that they don't have the answers to. We like to figure things out then stumble over the answers without asking the right people. The world is this big place... big scary place that we don't want to fall over our self looking at. (get confused)
What I am trying to say is that we try to figure things out on our own, without any help. Truthfully it is just not possible. We try and proof read and see that there is something wrong with everything. We put ourselves on the edge and don't take the time to stop and believe and listen.
Great beauty comes with great experience, great responsibility. Our beauty is something that is beyond human words... because God made us and that is who we are we are innocent and unique but only when we choose to be something that the people outside our door don't want us to have.
Our fight, our true rebellion is when we rebel against what the world wants of us and that is when it gets cool. It gets awesome and groovy and deep... he goes beyond our self our lives our choices and consequences.
Our lives lie in the one we can't see.
I only wish I could tell you how I feel how much love I feel for God.
We have to ask him to break every chain.

"Title's" an Eternal Song

Captivation can be only by a mere glance. Whether it is the simple act of looking someone in the eye or the beauty of the written word. Sweet songs ring melodies that never, in words, can be spoken. Songs live and people sink there teeth into them as artists. Dreaming, feeling, imagining, and going deeper. Climbing mountains of stone only to touch soft grass and warm soil where blue skies shine.
Simple things and selfless acts of goodness ring . In juvenile those words and measured acts glorious angels sing. Songs of hope, joy, and miraculous wonders. Dreamers cannot imagine such hope or beauty. Impossible for the wind to believe more than a touch of ones heart  and such simple beauty given to ones mind. Such is that of a song. With sweet words it is sung. Unimaginable and eternal.
Dreamers lie here strewn upon the grass praying deeper that their worry will never last.
"Always be" will the song bird sing "and a life of good joy alas alas".

[Studying for English had a moment... it is not exactly poetry just a thought on life and music and eternity. God truly is beautiful.]

Hard to Breathe

Hard to breathe outside. Too much is going on but, I don't have room to complain and I don't want to. There is a lot on my mind and in my heart. God has a lot planned for my future I feel that and know that. My dreams and sleep escape me as others crowd in. I have people who are happy and ones who are sad. I only wish I could say and do things perfectly giving way to dream and live. Life is so awesome so different.
It's alive.
For a long time I believed blogging would get me through sticky situations. It does from time to time but, on the most part I need a journal.
I think I have made a decision without intending too.
Let me tell you my story in a different way, on a different note, from a different point of view:

"I was nervous my body froze and my mind was shot. There was no one there but me... or so they believed. I was 6 when I was truly born and I don't think all humans die. I never have. The great death of all who believed in that are long gone they went away years ago... decades.. centuries.
Time is lost to me now.
Fleeting images zoom by my head and face surrounding and suffocating on lost choices and yet here I am with him.
I am no longer lost and haven't been for 10 years..."