Being a fan of Thor 2

 It is funny... the things that hit home to me. I use the word "I" a lot. I suppose a lot of teenagers do. We are all in our own little world... most have been there and most of you know what I mean. Everyone is the same and so different. I relate to things that are so unique such as movies or stories.
A couple of years ago I posted a blog right here on a movie with a story line that I had never heard of. Some story based off of a comic book called "Thor". Since then a lot of things have changed but, many have stayed the same. For example I still like drive-in's, getting way to excited over silly things, looking at the sky, and getting excited over a new movie like this one. It's been three years and I never thought there would be another Thor movie I didn't think it was going to be that big a deal and it wouldn't have been if there weren't other people in the world with some sort of relation to the bad guy (like me). Isn't that odd though? For a long time, I thought that all people needed to here the same thing I did which was "I relate to you". I never got that but, God gave me the chance to see it in other people (the things I relate to, I mean). I won't be daft I still do think that a lot of people do need that, just from the right person at the right time.
That's where Loki comes in... we all have this inner regret in us sometimes of things we did, should've done, or would've done. The emotion put into a character is important to me but, sometimes it isn't always just the emotion but, why they feel that way. Having a sister I never want her to feel alone as I have. I want her to never feel like she can't do what she CAN do. I have so many problems like selfishness, pride, a lack of respect in some areas (etc.). The reason Loki is a bad guy is because he didn't take stress management well... he is quiet, held back, and he let anger boil in him that came out in a gorgeously smooth way because his brother left him in the shadows without realizing.
If you put yourself in his shoes for just a moment... being covered by a shadow... you might see what I mean.
I have put a lot of thought into this. This movie, like Doctor Who, is fun to watch to me because it makes me think about the real world and how we handle the things we are given and WHY we handle them the way we do.
A lot of people don't understand why I like this character my simple answer is that "I relate". Not to being a world dominating, eyeball stealing, smooth bad guy but, to being someone who has been hurt and doesn't know how to handle what has been given to him... unlike him we can handle this better (and he still has the chance to... he just might). I am thankful to have 2nd chances. God is great!
I am way to excited about this movie... I like the creepy excitement though even if it freaks people out. I welcome the energy of having something and someone else to relate to. So, that God can lead me and teach me to choose the right answers and follow the right paths. The feeling is electric... but we have to be careful about feelings don't we.
If you read this and see the movie... tell me what you think about the movie!

Real/Reality

Since school started life has been hectic.
It is always hectic. Trying to figure out how all these pieces of the puzzle will fit together and how to make everything make since. How do we avoid stress? Well I find the BEST way is to give it to God but, we humans have problems with that REAL problems... more like excuses. We always have a problem with something. You may even have a problem with me saying that we all have a problem you may think that that is me being way to tough (it's not, it is tough love... moving on). Nobody is perfect and everyone learns. Everyone loves, all people make mistakes, disobey, think the wrong thing, get happy or excited, look ridiculous. Our challenge is to not let those oddities get under our skin to the point to where everything happening is a problem. Over the past few weeks things have been perfect... almost too perfect. This is another one of those times where I realize how different and silly I feel without problems. Sometimes I do the ridiculous and create them. Then sometimes I just sit on it and take it in.
The point is, is that we all have little weird things about us but, that is life isn't it? Nobody is flawless except God. Even Jesus had to pass gas he had "problems". I have my flaws but, I cannot stand sitting on them I sometimes can't stand having them but, I am not perfect and it will be a long time before I get there. Time is a factor in all this which leads me back to stress, giving it all to God and working through problems because in all reality our problems are not really problems when we give them up and sometimes our problems are in our head. Majority of the time they are very real though... that is why no matter what type of odd stress we have or challenge, God wants it, so we don't have to worry about it.
The funny thing about being 17 which isn't really funny at all is that we are in this awkward between stage that sounds and looks desperate and needy. We all look confused and act like we have it all figured out. We are all lonely and some of us are looking for a missing piece but, underneath a whole lot of junk we are all a lot alike in ways. We all are not kids and not adults and we are expected to act like adults with a good deal of responsibilities. Tonight I was walking around among a big crowd and 2 things happened that caught my attention.
The 1st was a boy, (now this was admittedly funny) I was wondering through usual thoughts about pieces of my self and who I want to be when I thought "No ma'am this body is NOT on the market for any man but God." When a seven foot boy looked at me and grinned that was when the most common girlish thing happened... my heart leaped and for the billionth time I responded with the question... "what do I want God?" The 2nd thing was group of kids... I know I sound desperately lonely when I say this but, I am not and you do need to keep in mind that I am a 17 year old girl who lives with her family that is just about all she sees. That is a big change when you move from hanging around 500 kids everyday to actually interacting with about 10 people per day (usually less). My head is just about always in the books. Back to the group of kids: there were 4 of them (again admittedly funny) and they were smoking. One girl and 3 guys all hanging out laughing. They were "of the world" but, having so much fun. It made me happy for them but also a bit envious of what they had. Something that (as desperate as I sound) I long for again. God has been the light unto my feet and I don't want every problem I have solved because then there would be no mystery. No mystery in life. So, that I can go through all my days not comparing one segment of life to the other.
We are all making decisions all living and stumbling through deciding what is real (God) or what is reality (the world...) because 'the world' wants you to only see there very unreal reality (it'll make since if you've been there or when you get there... or maybe not at all you get the gist!)
Honestly, the past few weeks have had me thinking. I love life and life... (like the Hannah Montana song) is what you make it. It can be filled with complaints or filled with dread to wake in the morning. We make that decision.
I only pray that you have the ears to hear if you need to hear. I love you all! Good night! God's Night! God Bless!

Bilbo

Last Sunday after church I sat down for the worship leaders monthly meeting.
Warriors off to talk about the battle plan. Really the meetings are just to get on the same page with one another and God and talk in depth about what is up. I enjoy the meetings and look forward to them. They always seem to open doors. I guess like all girls I enjoy talking about feelings.
I am blessed to be invited to be apart of these meetings.
This month's meeting was held around the change going on about the church. Three or four subjects stood out to me but, really I only want to talk about one. God wants me too, so I will.

We all get uncomfortable. There is somewhere, something(s), or someone who makes us uncomfortable. Sometimes we are bold and we take a chance and face it. Sometimes it is a fear. Sometimes it is something else entirely. We all get uncomfortable.
For me and for many others the thing or things that we are uncomfortable with we usually don't want to confront.
God wants us to. Because when we step out and away from that warm chair and hot coffee into snow and sleet and more snow and a bit of hail. The SOONER we will see. Wonders, mountains, dragons, elves, etc.
Do you get the title now?
No?
What about Frodo?
No?
Katniss?
We don't want to leave our doilies and warm fire. We don't want to leave our assurance of a safe and happy life. God wants us to though. He wants us to take the risk and put it all on the line for him.
Can you do it?
It is easier to say than do!
Pray
Live
Love
NEVER stop trying! I believe you can and I know without a doubt in my mind so does God!

Good night! and God Bless!!!

Combat Boots

I have been debating all day about what to call this blog. I thought about calling it "Identification" or "Smoothies and Mashed Potatoes" I finally decided on the title "Combat Boots". Only because it has been the topic of the day.
This morning I was over at my step-grandmothers house sorting through old junk trying to help her decide what to keep and what to sell. While searching I found this old/new pair of combat boots. They fit me perfectly or... almost perfectly they are a little big. Ever since my grandaddy died Mary has been getting rid of old stuff that has been kept over the years. She is clearing out the old and bringing in the new which is VERY healthy.
Those boots are made for women and just happened to fit. They were dusted with pollen and from a very different world than my own when I found them. Now they shine and smell like Lysol's summer breeze. The reason I bring them up in this blog is because out of all the wonderful and crazy things that have happened over the past few weeks these are the tie between them all. These boots are from a different world a pair of shoes found in a pile of junk. It is funny whats popular now and these are (in my head anyway and some actresses but that is another topic my friend).
I knew dad would like them and mom wouldn't she has (rightfully) been self conscious about what I wear as I have short hair. I have to make decisions for me though and not what the rest of the world wants (of course taking seriously every word my parents say).
If you read my dads blogs you will notice that some God movements have been happening with everyone (the Vineyard specifically moving around and out) on personal levels and spiritually.
This past weekend I was connected to a lot of things that everyone else was connected to the week before at Vineyard's worship conference. Dealing with the beginning of spiritual movements. A lot of little pieces came together and I thought I would share one of them with you (even though I would gladly love to tell more I can't possibly fit it all into a blog nor have I learned it all yet God is still working and answering questions and will be for some time now).
This pair of boots I began talking about is the center of a lot of these questions I have. Questions to God to family, cousins, and brothers and sisters (in Christ). Things I can't ask nor get answered yet. It is just not time.
"Familiar" was another title I thought about calling this blog on the simple things those that are familiar and those new things God will reveal. I like hoodies a lot if you see me with one on that means that no matter what I am doing I am in my comfort zone. If I wear a dress I most likely have a hoodie somewhere near by. The other day before I entered a meeting I went to go grab my hoodie and that was when God said "familiar" I thought "What does that mean?". He told me that the feelings I was feeling at that time which were shaky, unsure, scared, and excited were feelings of something called 'culture shock' but without any form of  actual cultural change (I was in a meeting at the Vineyard... so it wasn't unknown territory and nor was the meeting. Bottom line: somewhere I am VERY comfortable... in God's presence).
He was saying I am not ready for anything new... not yet. I have to climb the walls I am given first, then face the new challenges
Again I had a similar experience with new boots.
When you make a friend you usually have something in common with them. Whether it is the games you play, food you eat, or simply anything you do. When you go somewhere new you may face cultural shock because nothing is the same. This week I went to go visit my 2nd grandmother to be of company. Walking into her house is a lot like the definition of cultural shock to me. We don't eat the same food, drive the same type of car, watch the same form of TV shows, do the same stuff as I would normally in my spare time. I already new these things and I still love her very much. Things have changed since grandaddy passed away they were always different to me though. The house hasn't changed to much but I still go through that ache of wanting to be home after so much time. These boots made me think of my dad and my style, they made me think of Dr. Who for some reason and my mom. I like them and I can't wait to wear them. I came home today after one night of making decisions and just observing life in that household that is now without grandaddy and I spoke with both my parents about many spiritual matters. I cleaned my boots til they smelled like fresh gardens and breezes. I have this funny feeling they will be around for a long time.
There are 2 things I would like to let you know the first being: thank you for reading my thoughts. It means something to just write them but if you stayed thank you :)
The 2nd is my summery that things are changing in ways I can't possibly describe. I am not the same person I was 3 or 4 or 5 months ago. I am NOT the same as I was 3 or 4 days ago. Something is different because God is at work on a different scale grander and I am so excited!
Like John said in John Ch.3 V.28 and 29: "You yourselves bear me witness, that I said, I am not the Christ, but that I am sent before him.  He that has the bride is the bridegroom, but the friend of the bridegroom, which stands and hears him, rejoices greatly because of the bridegroom's voice: this my joy therefore is fulfilled."
Meaning that John isn't Jesus but is so excited just to live in his presence. (One way of putting things).
-Thank You and God Bless from Katie ;) Night (don't let the bed bugs bite!)

Lingering Subject

I think every person asks themselves questions that they don't have the answers to. We like to figure things out then stumble over the answers without asking the right people. The world is this big place... big scary place that we don't want to fall over our self looking at. (get confused)
What I am trying to say is that we try to figure things out on our own, without any help. Truthfully it is just not possible. We try and proof read and see that there is something wrong with everything. We put ourselves on the edge and don't take the time to stop and believe and listen.
Great beauty comes with great experience, great responsibility. Our beauty is something that is beyond human words... because God made us and that is who we are we are innocent and unique but only when we choose to be something that the people outside our door don't want us to have.
Our fight, our true rebellion is when we rebel against what the world wants of us and that is when it gets cool. It gets awesome and groovy and deep... he goes beyond our self our lives our choices and consequences.
Our lives lie in the one we can't see.
I only wish I could tell you how I feel how much love I feel for God.
We have to ask him to break every chain.

"Title's" an Eternal Song

Captivation can be only by a mere glance. Whether it is the simple act of looking someone in the eye or the beauty of the written word. Sweet songs ring melodies that never, in words, can be spoken. Songs live and people sink there teeth into them as artists. Dreaming, feeling, imagining, and going deeper. Climbing mountains of stone only to touch soft grass and warm soil where blue skies shine.
Simple things and selfless acts of goodness ring . In juvenile those words and measured acts glorious angels sing. Songs of hope, joy, and miraculous wonders. Dreamers cannot imagine such hope or beauty. Impossible for the wind to believe more than a touch of ones heart  and such simple beauty given to ones mind. Such is that of a song. With sweet words it is sung. Unimaginable and eternal.
Dreamers lie here strewn upon the grass praying deeper that their worry will never last.
"Always be" will the song bird sing "and a life of good joy alas alas".

[Studying for English had a moment... it is not exactly poetry just a thought on life and music and eternity. God truly is beautiful.]

Hard to Breathe

Hard to breathe outside. Too much is going on but, I don't have room to complain and I don't want to. There is a lot on my mind and in my heart. God has a lot planned for my future I feel that and know that. My dreams and sleep escape me as others crowd in. I have people who are happy and ones who are sad. I only wish I could say and do things perfectly giving way to dream and live. Life is so awesome so different.
It's alive.
For a long time I believed blogging would get me through sticky situations. It does from time to time but, on the most part I need a journal.
I think I have made a decision without intending too.
Let me tell you my story in a different way, on a different note, from a different point of view:

"I was nervous my body froze and my mind was shot. There was no one there but me... or so they believed. I was 6 when I was truly born and I don't think all humans die. I never have. The great death of all who believed in that are long gone they went away years ago... decades.. centuries.
Time is lost to me now.
Fleeting images zoom by my head and face surrounding and suffocating on lost choices and yet here I am with him.
I am no longer lost and haven't been for 10 years..."

Respect and Responsibility

We have all had responsibilities. Things we have had to do in life, things that are important to maintain who we are and who we want to be.
We each have responsibilities and goals that we want to reach to live.
Life is filled with that kind of stuff, it is filled with life and death and love.
Life is wonderful.
With every responsibility comes respect and love. Truth. We decide how we want to make our lives, whether we want to make them miserable or full of joy and love.
We have duty. What is duty? It is what we are called to do. Who asks? people.
Sometimes people from beyond our imagination, sometimes the "BIG" people or sometimes our pears. People older or younger.
My parents asked me to go to bed early tonight. Something they will do ever so often (at the right moments) it reminds me that I am still not an adult yet.
Normally, I don't think of myself as bad or full of myself. I don't think of my self as someone to sass-back because I don't want to. There are times where I have disagreed and can't think or cope with my situation.
I have gotten angry.
In these cases it usually doesn't involve me. It involves the situation around me the people because people are just that: people... human. We make mistakes, I have made mistakes and irritated the ones around me.
Sometimes I can get carried away... thinking that I can do it all by myself. I need help and when I am 30 I will need help and company... when I am 40... 50.... 60... 72... etc. (it's not a math equation don't try and solve it). :) I will always need help as we all will.
I have learned a lot this year about being human and what that means. Lessons that have to be learned through experience (like most).
When my parents told me to go to bed early tonight with no TV I realized that I still have life left to live so much life. I have to get it right.
I could salvage the sin that I have missed out on still. I could go back.
I could act like a stereotype. Wear hot pink. Grow my hair out. Die it blond and straighten it. I could wear my pants on the ground and my shirts low. I don't and I won't.
Why am I telling you all this what is the conclusion?
Respect.
To others.
To yourself.
To your family.
To those around you.
To God.
It is more than to someone older or wiser (which is important... very!) it is to everyone. I am only 16. I don't know everything, I do know respect comes in different forms and fashions. It is something our humanity misses to respect each other. It is a responsibility and a duty. To ALL!
One last thing: There is nothing wrong with growing up, we must learn to do it at the right time in the right place. Childhood is in us when we keep our joy and laughter, when we keep our innocence.
My name means pure. I want to keep it that way.
Should be a goal for us all.

Closing Out the World

I am blogging outside today. No real reason really. It takes less than a minute to go outside. I walk from my room down a set of stairs then open the front door. It doesn't take much effort only a little. It's like coming out from a dark place, somewhere magical. The light is usually over bearing because our house is dark.Today, is Thursday April 11, 2013. It is about mid-day.
I'm not really sure why all this is worth mentioning I just hear that there is a storm coming a big one.
The kind that they let the schools out early and everyone rushes to buy their milk and bread.
Pollen is spreading almost like an a attack from the yellow particles flying about our heads giving us head or earaches.
Here it smells like pollen and smoke. I can hear cars from the highway and feel the occasional wind blowing pollen at my head and on my laptop.
It's warm and bright white clouds float over head blocking the universe out behind them like God saying, "don't worry about all that right now".
I am not trapped or lonely, just busy and tired. I've made mistakes and watched them made.
I am normal.
We all are, it is the best thing you can be. We try and shape and redefine that word 'normal' when it is every thing we consider and nothing at all. Crazy, is a miscalculation, weird, is an insult. While amazing is the only word besides Love we can describe God as (and awesome, cool, and a bunch of other good stuff).
Like the world surrounding me, the world that fills me up and drinks me in tries to consume until I am nothing left only to be saved by the one I love.
The one so deep and pure and true and amazing.(God)
Whenever I close my door to go inside from the darkness I think of the world outside and who created it. I think about how dangerous, exciting, and wonderful it is. I think about the people that were placed there and have done wrong. I think about not hiding and really living. I think about me and my family the adventures I want to have and where they can take me. I think about life and rest and dreams. No one can destroy those dreams but, you and God, and no one can build them bigger than God.
If you are late or behind, God still has plans. You have to get up there and go after them though.
Life is a mystery, it is in our nature to be afraid of what we don't know like the world surrounding us and filling us up. The world that we are to live in but, never to be apart of. The living and breathing.
It is so amazing and relieves one's stress to get back to the world until we go home once again.

 This is my view as I write the blog. Smoke and pollen were all over my screen when I finished but, it was a good moment. God was gently there brushing all fears away. I love my father in heaven. He is great!
 
John 15:19-If ye were of the world, the world would love his own; but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you.
Galatians 6:15- But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of flesh.

Lost Time (The blog about God and "Doctor Who")

Recently I connected with a well-known series called Dr. Who.
I found out about this man who lives in a blue police box called a "Tardis". He travels through time and space to different planets and worlds. He takes a companion with him who is usually a woman.
He fights and celebrates and almost always wins (there are twists sometimes).
I read a blog about the guy who could do anything and take you anywhere, he was known as indestructable to his enemys and anyone who know him.
He is a funny man. He doesn't know his name and has been alive for hundreds of years.
He has two hearts and is the last of his kind.
His name is the doctor, friend to children, fear to monsters.
They teach in schools about evolution and science always avoiding the facts that lie beneath it. The fact that there really is a God and life that goes beyond what we know. I have been told before that it is ridiculous to think that there are not other living beings out there. Walking and talking, breathing and living.
You see, the universe is much BIGGER than a doctor who rules the sky's or can fly to Mars 10 yrs. earlier.
As much as I enjoy the show "Doctor Who" I have to say it is fiction but, so similar to fact.
The story of the attractive man in a box. Who saves you when you don't know it.
This blog isn't about him though it is about a lesson learned on a larger and grander scale.
God is someone many believe as fiction or don't believe at all they simply are lost. I find though that he is more with that he is someone you can talk and relate to. Cry to when your sad or laugh with when your happy. He takes you on adventures to see different things from different points of view. You can see him... maybe not physically but, with so much more than that. Like a blind person can see the world around her. God gave him/her the sight to see.
In all reality God spoke to me the other day and told me to back away and look around me. At the things I say that I "love" (keep in mind scripture says "God IS Love").
He told me to look at Dr. Who and he showed me that GOD IS MY DOCTOR.
He is the one who will take me on adventures and LOVE me. That he will save me and remake me. That though you can't see him physically now we will one day.
Girls like kind of stuff. Someone to sweep them off their feet. Guys like being the hero. Funny thing is is both girls and guys WANT a hero.
Which is why we like Doctor Who so much.
What keeps a lot of us from seeing the truth is because we want to just SEE. Sometimes it takes believing a little faith to see. 
God is my REAL-LIFE doctor as I am his companion. Don't forget that he is handsome and he makes me beautiful.
God is my doctor. God is my reality. My choice and my life. I love him.

The difference: I won't die in the end.

-I will say that God is God and man is man that is the biggest difference in the world.

~John 3:16 - For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
~1 Corinthians 8:6 - But to us [there is but] one God, the Father, of whom [are] all things, and we in him; and one Lord Jesus Christ, by whom [are] all things, and we by him.
~Psalms 110:1 - (A Psalm of David.) The LORD said unto my Lord, Sit thou at my right hand, until I make thine enemies thy footstool.

Fear and What's Behind It

Recently, I read a book called, "Divergent".
In it I learned about fear and how it can captivate you. How it can tangle you up and even mess up how you think and react. I also learned about bravery.
We are made to fear. Made to overcome difficulties and challenges.
Until recently I didn't realize that all these sayings that you hear growing up actually mean things! (huh? *gasp*)
Sometimes it means doing something your uncomfortable with or meeting someone new. People are afraid of the unknown. They shouldn't be.
If you are afraid. You must learn to overcome. How? By doing living and experiencing the good and the bad... the unknown.
Only fear GOD! Everything else is nothing compared to him.
I learned that people are different and make different mistakes. This shouldn't stop people from trying to do good. From trying to do better and fix their mistakes. We learn at all ages!
-Tris (main character) taught me a lot of things like:
    More about being brave
    More about fear and what it will do
    Why friends are important
    How to be a bad person trying to overcome and learn and be better.
I don't what connects and what doesn't all I can say is that no matter who you are, what your status, or relation is that we are human and sometimes we have to overcome hard stuff to have that peace.

Exodus 14:13 (KJV)

 "And Moses said unto the people, Fear ye not, stand still, and see the salvation of the Lord, which he will show to you today: for the Egyptians whom ye have seen today, ye shall see them again no more for ever."

Luke Ch. 12 V.4-7

"And I say unto you my friends, Be not afraid of them that kill the body, and after that have no more that they can do.
But I will forewarn you whom ye shall fear: Fear him, which after he hath killed hath power to cast into hell; so, I say to you, Fear him.
Are not five sparrows sold for two farthings, and not one of them is forgotten before God?
But even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not therefore: you are of more value than many sparrows."

 
Proverbs 19:23 (ESV)

"The fear of the Lord leads to life, and whoever has it rests satisfied; he will not be visited by harm."

1 John 4:18 (ESV)

"There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love."

I have got a lot to learn and at 16 I don't know everything. I know that life is good it is SO GOOD!
This book really gave me courage to face my fears and see and think in a different light. I learned something maybe you can to. 

Life is so full of life and God and greatness :) Thank you I hope it connects.

Potentially Pretty- On Self-esteem, Confidence, and Being You!

I wonder sometimes, who I am trying to be like and why I'm trying to be like them. I am not super girly.
But I am a girl.
My prom was this Friday!
I didn't go.
The color pink?
Began wearing it about 2 or 3 months ago.
Love stories?
No, thank you...
Suspense?
Sure
Dr. Who?
I am going through a phase? I almost bought $8 socks that said, "Bow ties are cool". YES!
I realize that it is not the things you like that make you who you are. Sure it can influence that... that is why we must be careful. In the end, it's about what we do and how we act.
I often tell people that what you do doesn't make you who you are. Who you are is what you do. It's about our influence. What or who we surround ourselves with.
Often you will hear as a teen, to surround yourself with only people who will be a good influence. I find this true. But, when you are spiritually prepared it is good to surround yourself with all types of people without judgement.
People are different they like different things, live different ways, believe different things.
That is what makes us different and Jesus realized that he payed attention and saw the beauty in ALL people and hung around that without judgement.
Schools have molds for you. One girl and one boy both are simple and easy to comprehend.You will see that these designs really come form TV and people in general or "the world".
Here are 3 things that you should keep close to you at all times:
1) YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL and (2)INNOCENT!!! You may not think you need that right now but, as you grow older no matter how you grow up or how you act you will most likely ask yourself the "am I pretty?" question. You may need this now, maybe no one has told you or you are conscientious about it. You have control over your appearance! Maybe you don't have control on the outside but, on the inside you can choose that (IT WILL SHOW!!!). You may think this is crappy advice... well try to prove me wrong. The answer is your are gorgeous and what you do inside makes you prettier or uglier. Don't give up!
Influence... as other people can influence you YOU influence others, people will watch you like you watch them.  You are seen but, people don't spend all their time staring at you. You just have to be confident and believe with all your heart that God loves you and he made you this way for a reason. If you are not sure what your purpose is yet? then it will be revealed in good time he has a purpose for everybody so relax. For the meantime... love God and do something for your body, mind, and soul. Enjoy your health who you are and the temple God gave you... boys/girls will come eventually.
3) I think "I am not a boy" is a good place to start here. Only because I am not. From personal opinion and my expertise (which is a couple of people I like to call very close and a slight power in learning people- basically very little knowledge in guys)  I will give advice true, short, and sweet. You are WANTED!
I heard one time a short theory on guys and girls about wanting to be beautiful and wanted. BOTH APPLY!
because both are true. I like being able to know that I am loved and wanted. By who? Love himself? (now your thinking about how stupid that is... this is when I say:)
1 Corinthians Ch.13 V.4-7 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on it's own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong doing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
The moral of the story: Is that you are you. You make the decisions to be who you are and if it's to fit the mold of the world or to be you!
My confession: What inspired me to write a this blog was a song called, "Dance with me" by Drew Seeley and Belinda and "Radioactive" by Imagine Dragons.
-I ignore the original rule of not using "but" at the 1st of sentences.

For the Upper Room kids: I will be teaching on how to use Bible's this Sunday :D Can't wait guys if you see this YOU ARE AWESOME!:D
Comment: Do I make sense?

Months

Months are funny things.

There are 12 of them.
They come and they change. Yet they always stay the same.
You can do different things during them... months I mean.
From time to time they can take your breath away at how quick they fly by.
Recently life has flown and many attacks have hit our family. Sometimes I feel like saying the words "thank you" is never enough. I sometimes wonder what I could do to change the world, to transform life.
I can't.
So, I give my problems to someone who can who will change what is happening and what will happen.
No human.
Life is odd... people are odd. In the end though I find if you put your trust in God things can change and transform. Completely transform.
I told God when a part of my life changed and even before that, that I didn't want to be just Katie Jordan Finlayson. I wanted to do something with my life go somewhere I wanted to live and see the sights and wonders of this world before I moved on.
As life goes on I see my life changing I go up on the roller coaster of life then down while yelling "WEEEEEEEEEEEEE" on my way home.
I have no words to convince people to love Jesus or why people need a relationship with him. I can not convince you to believe what I believe and have faith in. Only one can do that and he gave you a choice...
(A CHOICE :D excitement... a choice! Haha! :D How AWESOME IS THAT!)
He didn't force us to love he gave us THE choice. wow.
WOW! 
Nothing in this world just came to be I know that much. It is to beautiful and for everything that has transpired over the past few months I am slowly beginning to take more and more joy in life. To separate good from bad, and to just go deeper. I LOVE THIS! I don't... I WON'T loose this! I CAN'T loose this love. We have to go beyond what we deny in our minds when we know truth in our hearts.
Listen, talk, he is there.

Places that I'm going!:

New Zealand

 Paris

England

Muddled thoughts

Some of you wanted me to keep you posted so I am and I will... there is not much to say. Life has been hectic and it seems that there is a lot more at work than just a death in the family. That death is not necessarily where the confusion and anger comes from.
We all have situations were we feel lost and small, until this morning I couldn't find the words to write this blog. So much going on and so much sadness and anger that shouldn't be there for all of us. It's a different world for them for everyone. We all live in different ways and think different thoughts that is what makes us different. We have to keep in mind that the demons who try and hold us down are designed for those fears.
In the movie Matrix it's about a guy overcoming to see what that world really is. In the end he sees that world for what it really is. Without all the tight clothing and rough words that is sort of what we are doing... seeing things for what they really are and realizing that. Moving past that. Taking our fears and knowing that NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS GOD HAS GOT YOU!!!! He ALWAYS has.
Our whole family has bonded together for the past several months including when my grandmother was in the hospital and it has been rough for ALL the family in that respect. I don't know where to begin or how to tell you anything but what there is:
My Grandaddy, mother's father, died as of 1a.m. on Wed. February 6, 2013...
beyond that everything is pretty much muddled. :)
Things are OK now, yesterday I felt demons hanging out with us. I don't like that. They were confusing me and I was letting my ridiculous fears control that. We went to my G-momma's house and we prayed.
There is something about her house that even in the darkest of times there is so much God there.
She saw things for what they were. We all prayed... G-mom, mom, dad, and I.
As I said there is no real order to this post just a letting you know.
We have all been warriors in a situation like this. Standing as tall as we can and fighting for our loved ones.
I don't mean to be dark about everything that's just the way that life has felt on levels. As I said emotion wise I'm not reliable but, my mind as well as my families has cleared up today.
Again a thank you to all the Warriors out there praying for my family and I.

This has been an AMAZING song for the whole family throughout this time. Take a minute to listen to it. I think it explains a lot more than even I can think of right now.

REAL Southern Hospitality, Lessons, and Memories- A journal Entry (1)

Memories from Granddaddy's House

For years I've kept these journals I'm in my 4th one now, I've kept them for 8 years. Tonight, my mom told Kelsey and I to write some memories that we remember from granddaddy's house. I thought I would share this with you in honor of the situation. It's for the loved ones and just a beginning for the memories.
 
2/1/13
-My grandaddy is getting old in honor of that my mom told Kelsey and I to write down some of our fondest memories of my grandaddy and Mary. We are to tell some about just being around them.
To be honest I'm not sure how much longer my grandaddy (Walter) will be around.

I am 16... here I go... some of my best memories:

1- There was this one time Mary had gotten this old Nintendo gaming system from Trade Day. We would play things like Mario, Pac-man, and Galactica old games like that.She had bought at least three full boxes of these old games. They inserted in the top of the machine and were about half the size of a cassette tape. I still remember when they took a small TV and put it in the kitchen. Mary, Destinee and I would sit around and play the games and eat snacks. Kelsey would play too when she got old enough. They eventually got rid of it. I think they got the use out of it. Good memory though.

2- Trade Day- Boiling hot sun, ice water bottles, and a bunch of old stuff. Grandaddy liked it. I couldn't stand it at the time. Waking up on a Saturday morning and getting sweaty. After a while I got used to it. I remember every now and then he would buy us something. Trade day out in Hokes Bluff.

3- Driving in the truck with grandaddy- No other country experience like it. There was this one time  where I had to stay over at their house for three nights. They were to take me to school and everything. They aren't to big on driving places. This period of time was around Halloween I remember being in the back of the car (possibly a truck). Grandad driving. Desy and I put in these fake glow-in-the-dark vampire teeth we pretended to scare the guy behind us. The guy in the car behind us played right back, laughed, and made a face. We all laughed.

4-Destinee Renee` Skipper- My best buddy and literally like my second sister. I could come up with so many wonderful things about this girl and she is MOST DEFINITELY one of my fondest and BEST memories. She's not just a memory either still is my home girl I love her! She is 14 at this time and still we are as "thick as thieves" one might say... or really close. Kelsey and she are close too, she is the perfect age to play with both of us.

5- Chocolate Oatmeal Cookies- We would make them all the time. I taught Desy how to make them and I also taught her how to make homemade hot cocoa. One winter grandaddy was asleep and Mary was in the back of the house it was just Desy and I. It was cold that day, we sat around and sipped hot chocolate, read, and sat by the heater. (I was in the middle of one of the Percy Jackson books at the time).

6- Reading Bible- I have a tendency to read the Bible out loud. When I do this I feel as though I'm reading to God and his angels in heaven. I feel like nothing in the world can stop me or harm me.  I was reading aloud at their house. Everything seemed to click at this point this was where things came together. I remember being in the sitting room next to the kitchen. When she finished cleaning she came and sat next to me as I read. There were several things that day that were personal and that made that day special and all I can say is that it was special. She listened as I read and read I don't remember how much. I would stop ever so often to see if she wanted me to stop. She would say, "I don't care", but I knew she enjoyed it so I would read on. Ever since then things haven't been as complicated I'm a little bit looser and laid back now than I was. It was and is a God thing a healing thing... something I'll never forget and it's another fond memory.

7- Christmas 2011- The sweetest and most meaningful present I've ever gotten was this Christmas of 2011. I wanted to cry when I saw it I was on the edge of tears. I used to complement granddaddy's button up shirts a lot before he started wearing hospital gowns. I remember they had taken one of the shirts I had complemented him on and wrapped it around a King James Bible. A red letter KJV Bible with golden edges and my name engraved on the front in gold. It was my first official KJV. The shirt is still on a hanger in the my closet and the Bible is in my Bible case, my main Bible. 2011 was the year I began reading to Mary.

8- Later in Life- Beans and Greens- As of a few weeks ago the first of January 2013 I went to a small little restaurant out in Ball Play. Small place, and somewhere I would've never gone on my own or with the choice. It was a delightful place that I remembered was also featured in "The Gadsden Style" magazine. It was quaint and we went there for three weeks in a row for dinner with mom, dad, Kelsey, grandaddy, and Mary. I really began to like it.
One of the biggest delights in the world is seeing someone you love smile. Seeing granddaddy's smile is a treat and a delight. He passed that same joy filled smile down to my mom. It's something you miss when it's gone. Something... a lesson you have to learn the hard way.
It's been 2 weeks since our last visit with them to B&G grandaddy is to weak to get up now. Much less go out anywhere. He is too weak to move, eat, or even function and in too much pain to even smile.
I love my grandaddy and I can't imagine what life without him would be like.
But even then things will be OK.

It's not yet over that I know but, seeing him tonight has taught me many things:
1.) That I have no idea how I will react.
2.) That there is a soul in everyone of us no matter how old, tired, or weak. We are to treat our elders with the uttermost respect and kindness that we can muster and remember that it was not us who made the sacrifice, built, and studied for hours on end. It was them we only build upon the foundations that have been set.
3.) You are no bigger, no greater, no stronger, than anyone else. You are not above anyone. There are many ways of living and living deep country is one of them. It is possible, and probably the smartest way to live. This way of living teaches you to be unreliant and you learn to fend for yourself.

Overcoming and Accomplishing

What is there to write when your aggravated? When things get too hard... too pressured... or too complicated? What do you do? Do you stare at a blank screen for hours on end? Poor over work and get nothing done... wishing things were different and easy?
If things were easy? I'm sure Adam and Eve weren't thinking that at the time they picked the fruit.
and even then...
Doing things makes life interesting and different you have to balance it out and decide what you want to express and live by.
A lot of times I wonder if what I'm going to do is write, act, design... what?
I get stressed and I cry... hard.
These are the moments I don't stop and keep going without a break.
In the future it will pay off. 
IT'S NOT EASY. LIFE IS NOT EASY! It's what we put our faith in that designs how we live and where we go.
What motivates us to become actors or architects? Singers or doctors? 
Our past? Our surroundings?
Questions with questions defeating that terrified part of us and putting our faith in one another and GIVING our EVERYTHING to God.
Our minds our souls, the sounds... overwhelming and calming. LIVING AND ACCOMPLISHING!

Real Strength!

People are always afraid to cry. I've never understood it but, maybe that's something God has always given me an understanding for.
I cry when I'm tired or upset. I tend to shed tears when I feel lonely or confused. I cry a lot when I'm happy or sad.
In a way to me it shows more strength then weakness because your not afraid to cry.
Sometimes strength can come in many different sizes and ways.
My mom is strong I consider her very strong. I look up to her, she takes on a lot.
Recently, it's been very tough on my mom she has been working constantly... her business closed, her mom got into a very scary situation because of old age... sometimes I don't know what to think.
Really what I should say or do at that right now all I know to do is keep working as hard as I can and continue with life supporting her as much as I can.
I respect my mom:) She has real strength. Strength that maybe I can grow up to have one day.
I have a lot to learn and so little time but, I suppose we all do. :)

What Jesus DOES!

Ever since I was a little girl I hadn't seen official snow in person... until a few years ago during the Christmas Holidays. My dad was sick with some sort of flu that had passed through the whole family and dad got the worst of it, so he was kind of stranded inside. Every time it snows he reminds me of how happy it made him to see his children have their first White Christmas.
 I still remember getting out of bed on that Christmas morning and looking out the window.

Boy was I excited... like every Christmas morning Kelsey and I woke mom and dad. We all brushed our teeth and mom and dad headed down the stairs first.

Kelsey goes first then Katie.

We smile play a little while then get dressed and head out doors into a winter WONDERLAND!!!

I remember the feeling.

It was like I was in Narnia for the first time, white snow fell upon my lashes and the ground was covered in cold white foam.
 Today reminded me of that day in the snow as we drove home in the snow and small pieces fell and hit the car.

Jesus is so AMAZING!!! He truly works WONDERS he always has.

I think what is really on my heart to say is just to keep going and remember and abide by the promises God has given and to listen for him every step of the way. You never know when he'll pop and say something you never really expected (like a snow day!!!)

Mark Ch.10 V. 45 For even the Son of man came not to be served unto, but to serve, and to give his life a ransom for many.
~God Bless


 

New Beginnings and Change

There's always this portion of time where things change and rearrange themselves. It's a period where people have to adapt to something new. Some way of living that's different and unknown. Life is like that, constantly changing. I think what most people forget is the adventure in it all. We get ourselves stuck in this mindset that nothing is going right and everything is always going great for the rest of the world and crappy for us.
Truth is: life is not like that unless you make it that way! That's right! YOU choose and decide how to make that change. Should we live in fear of it and avoid making contact by pretending it never happened? Or should we live like it's an adventure with twists and turns, high point and low points. God made the world so that we could see truth and beauty and everything in between.
Light and dark to be more specific.
Bilbo Baggins was someone who never wanted to go on an adventure, "Nasty things," he said. When he did he went through hardship and did things he never thought he would have the chance to do or even wanted to do.
My point is change happens to everybody and realizations come with it. We have to accept the hard things in  our lives and accept what God has to give and TRUST in him with all of our being. I often forget to trust God.
I forget all that he has done in all of our lives and the plans that he has for us in our future.
I forget a lot of things that I'm not to proud to admit but, God is always their to remind me.
In our hardship and change we MUST remember something that my dad taught me once: that the Holy Spirit is constantly praying for us and he constantly with us and rooting for us.
NOTHING AND I MEAN NOTHING will EVER change his LOVE for you. You may not realize this yet but, I hope and pray that one day you will! :) Love to all, good night, and God Bless!   

Learning and Relating! (1st Semester of College.. Early Post)

So, school started and after that everything took off... which means; babysitting, helping with homework, cooking dinner, doing homework, stressing out about getting places, trying to keep up spiritually, laughing, believing, resting, straining, rejoicing, breaking boundaries, growing confident, and simply living. Shall I continue? *sigh*

I started about a year ago going to my churches youth group, at the time it was a bunch of kids that were all about 2 or 3 years older than me who, all had the nerve to get up and worship in front of others, something I'm still trying to overcome. It was great then and still is now, it's just different. Now its about eight to nine people who all want God just as badly were all learning to express it in different ways. Learning, not only in school but spiritually, how to obey, have faith,  have trust, and have discipline, as well as meet other people. Yes, I've learned and discovered but, to be honest now that I'm apart of something I just want to get to know the people there. Be around the ones who understand what it's like. People who I KNOW have recently been there or still are there. In ways I feel alone but, know that I'm not, I just wish I knew how to step out more. I believe that if this group would become more of a family we can move mountains.

Seeing through Different Eyes and the College Experience

One of the most interesting times in my life seems to be going on now. Taking me through different experiences to new places. It's a lot like flying or dancing, one minute your sitting in your room doing absolutely nothing then the next your in another world or place. Starting college at 16 has been quite the experience and one that was planned and made for me. I've really enjoyed being in this different world living and enjoying where I'm at. At the same time I feel as though I'm working so hard without rest. I haven't posted a blog or anything like that in a while and the truth is I haven't had time. When I do have free time I feel like I get freedom happy and enjoy it so much that it comes to the point where I waste hours at a time I could've done something productive.
Maybe it's just me but, growing up is a challenge for all ages. I never thought that I'd be where I am now. Doing everything that I've been doing it's like living a dream and climbing literally to the top. Living is a challenge that to many look at as a burden. I don't want to do that though.I have plans that I want to accomplish, the problem is is that I spend to much time trying to figure out how to accomplish it rather than just doing it. Life is a journey a beautiful one with all sorts of things happening and racing around you. I've learned so much in so little time and my plans are to continue doing the best that I can. I'm still a kid I'm still growing, learning, and living.