Hard to Breathe

Hard to breathe outside. Too much is going on but, I don't have room to complain and I don't want to. There is a lot on my mind and in my heart. God has a lot planned for my future I feel that and know that. My dreams and sleep escape me as others crowd in. I have people who are happy and ones who are sad. I only wish I could say and do things perfectly giving way to dream and live. Life is so awesome so different.
It's alive.
For a long time I believed blogging would get me through sticky situations. It does from time to time but, on the most part I need a journal.
I think I have made a decision without intending too.
Let me tell you my story in a different way, on a different note, from a different point of view:

"I was nervous my body froze and my mind was shot. There was no one there but me... or so they believed. I was 6 when I was truly born and I don't think all humans die. I never have. The great death of all who believed in that are long gone they went away years ago... decades.. centuries.
Time is lost to me now.
Fleeting images zoom by my head and face surrounding and suffocating on lost choices and yet here I am with him.
I am no longer lost and haven't been for 10 years..."