Hard to breathe outside. Too much is going on but, I don't have room to complain and I don't want to. There is a lot on my mind and in my heart. God has a lot planned for my future I feel that and know that. My dreams and sleep escape me as others crowd in. I have people who are happy and ones who are sad. I only wish I could say and do things perfectly giving way to dream and live. Life is so awesome so different.
It's alive.
For a long time I believed blogging would get me through sticky situations. It does from time to time but, on the most part I need a journal.
I think I have made a decision without intending too.
Let me tell you my story in a different way, on a different note, from a different point of view:
"I was nervous my body froze and my mind was shot. There was no one there but me... or so they believed. I was 6 when I was truly born and I don't think all humans die. I never have. The great death of all who believed in that are long gone they went away years ago... decades.. centuries.
Time is lost to me now.
Fleeting images zoom by my head and face surrounding and suffocating on lost choices and yet here I am with him.
I am no longer lost and haven't been for 10 years..."
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Monday, April 15, 2013
Respect and Responsibility
We have all had responsibilities. Things we have had to do in life, things that are important to maintain who we are and who we want to be.
We each have responsibilities and goals that we want to reach to live.
Life is filled with that kind of stuff, it is filled with life and death and love.
Life is wonderful.
With every responsibility comes respect and love. Truth. We decide how we want to make our lives, whether we want to make them miserable or full of joy and love.
We have duty. What is duty? It is what we are called to do. Who asks? people.
Sometimes people from beyond our imagination, sometimes the "BIG" people or sometimes our pears. People older or younger.
My parents asked me to go to bed early tonight. Something they will do ever so often (at the right moments) it reminds me that I am still not an adult yet.
Normally, I don't think of myself as bad or full of myself. I don't think of my self as someone to sass-back because I don't want to. There are times where I have disagreed and can't think or cope with my situation.
I have gotten angry.
In these cases it usually doesn't involve me. It involves the situation around me the people because people are just that: people... human. We make mistakes, I have made mistakes and irritated the ones around me.
Sometimes I can get carried away... thinking that I can do it all by myself. I need help and when I am 30 I will need help and company... when I am 40... 50.... 60... 72... etc. (it's not a math equation don't try and solve it). :) I will always need help as we all will.
I have learned a lot this year about being human and what that means. Lessons that have to be learned through experience (like most).
When my parents told me to go to bed early tonight with no TV I realized that I still have life left to live so much life. I have to get it right.
I could salvage the sin that I have missed out on still. I could go back.
I could act like a stereotype. Wear hot pink. Grow my hair out. Die it blond and straighten it. I could wear my pants on the ground and my shirts low. I don't and I won't.
Why am I telling you all this what is the conclusion?
Respect.
To others.
To yourself.
To your family.
To those around you.
To God.
It is more than to someone older or wiser (which is important... very!) it is to everyone. I am only 16. I don't know everything, I do know respect comes in different forms and fashions. It is something our humanity misses to respect each other. It is a responsibility and a duty. To ALL!
One last thing: There is nothing wrong with growing up, we must learn to do it at the right time in the right place. Childhood is in us when we keep our joy and laughter, when we keep our innocence.
My name means pure. I want to keep it that way.
Should be a goal for us all.
We each have responsibilities and goals that we want to reach to live.
Life is filled with that kind of stuff, it is filled with life and death and love.
Life is wonderful.
With every responsibility comes respect and love. Truth. We decide how we want to make our lives, whether we want to make them miserable or full of joy and love.
We have duty. What is duty? It is what we are called to do. Who asks? people.
Sometimes people from beyond our imagination, sometimes the "BIG" people or sometimes our pears. People older or younger.
My parents asked me to go to bed early tonight. Something they will do ever so often (at the right moments) it reminds me that I am still not an adult yet.
Normally, I don't think of myself as bad or full of myself. I don't think of my self as someone to sass-back because I don't want to. There are times where I have disagreed and can't think or cope with my situation.
I have gotten angry.
In these cases it usually doesn't involve me. It involves the situation around me the people because people are just that: people... human. We make mistakes, I have made mistakes and irritated the ones around me.
Sometimes I can get carried away... thinking that I can do it all by myself. I need help and when I am 30 I will need help and company... when I am 40... 50.... 60... 72... etc. (it's not a math equation don't try and solve it). :) I will always need help as we all will.
I have learned a lot this year about being human and what that means. Lessons that have to be learned through experience (like most).
When my parents told me to go to bed early tonight with no TV I realized that I still have life left to live so much life. I have to get it right.
I could salvage the sin that I have missed out on still. I could go back.
I could act like a stereotype. Wear hot pink. Grow my hair out. Die it blond and straighten it. I could wear my pants on the ground and my shirts low. I don't and I won't.
Why am I telling you all this what is the conclusion?
Respect.
To others.
To yourself.
To your family.
To those around you.
To God.
It is more than to someone older or wiser (which is important... very!) it is to everyone. I am only 16. I don't know everything, I do know respect comes in different forms and fashions. It is something our humanity misses to respect each other. It is a responsibility and a duty. To ALL!
One last thing: There is nothing wrong with growing up, we must learn to do it at the right time in the right place. Childhood is in us when we keep our joy and laughter, when we keep our innocence.
My name means pure. I want to keep it that way.
Should be a goal for us all.
Thursday, April 11, 2013
Closing Out the World
I am blogging outside today. No real reason really. It takes less than a minute to go outside. I walk from my room down a set of stairs then open the front door. It doesn't take much effort only a little. It's like coming out from a dark place, somewhere magical. The light is usually over bearing because our house is dark.Today, is Thursday April 11, 2013. It is about mid-day.
I'm not really sure why all this is worth mentioning I just hear that there is a storm coming a big one.
The kind that they let the schools out early and everyone rushes to buy their milk and bread.
Pollen is spreading almost like an a attack from the yellow particles flying about our heads giving us head or earaches.
Here it smells like pollen and smoke. I can hear cars from the highway and feel the occasional wind blowing pollen at my head and on my laptop.
It's warm and bright white clouds float over head blocking the universe out behind them like God saying, "don't worry about all that right now".
I am not trapped or lonely, just busy and tired. I've made mistakes and watched them made.
I am normal.
We all are, it is the best thing you can be. We try and shape and redefine that word 'normal' when it is every thing we consider and nothing at all. Crazy, is a miscalculation, weird, is an insult. While amazing is the only word besides Love we can describe God as (and awesome, cool, and a bunch of other good stuff).
Like the world surrounding me, the world that fills me up and drinks me in tries to consume until I am nothing left only to be saved by the one I love.
The one so deep and pure and true and amazing.(God)
Whenever I close my door to go inside from the darkness I think of the world outside and who created it. I think about how dangerous, exciting, and wonderful it is. I think about the people that were placed there and have done wrong. I think about not hiding and really living. I think about me and my family the adventures I want to have and where they can take me. I think about life and rest and dreams. No one can destroy those dreams but, you and God, and no one can build them bigger than God.
If you are late or behind, God still has plans. You have to get up there and go after them though.
Life is a mystery, it is in our nature to be afraid of what we don't know like the world surrounding us and filling us up. The world that we are to live in but, never to be apart of. The living and breathing.
It is so amazing and relieves one's stress to get back to the world until we go home once again.
This is my view as I write the blog. Smoke and pollen were all over
my screen when I finished but, it was a good moment. God was gently
there brushing all fears away. I love my father in heaven. He is great!
John 15:19-If ye were of the world, the world would love his own; but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you.
Galatians 6:15- But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of flesh.
I'm not really sure why all this is worth mentioning I just hear that there is a storm coming a big one.
The kind that they let the schools out early and everyone rushes to buy their milk and bread.
Pollen is spreading almost like an a attack from the yellow particles flying about our heads giving us head or earaches.
Here it smells like pollen and smoke. I can hear cars from the highway and feel the occasional wind blowing pollen at my head and on my laptop.
It's warm and bright white clouds float over head blocking the universe out behind them like God saying, "don't worry about all that right now".
I am not trapped or lonely, just busy and tired. I've made mistakes and watched them made.
I am normal.
We all are, it is the best thing you can be. We try and shape and redefine that word 'normal' when it is every thing we consider and nothing at all. Crazy, is a miscalculation, weird, is an insult. While amazing is the only word besides Love we can describe God as (and awesome, cool, and a bunch of other good stuff).
Like the world surrounding me, the world that fills me up and drinks me in tries to consume until I am nothing left only to be saved by the one I love.
The one so deep and pure and true and amazing.(God)
Whenever I close my door to go inside from the darkness I think of the world outside and who created it. I think about how dangerous, exciting, and wonderful it is. I think about the people that were placed there and have done wrong. I think about not hiding and really living. I think about me and my family the adventures I want to have and where they can take me. I think about life and rest and dreams. No one can destroy those dreams but, you and God, and no one can build them bigger than God.
If you are late or behind, God still has plans. You have to get up there and go after them though.
Life is a mystery, it is in our nature to be afraid of what we don't know like the world surrounding us and filling us up. The world that we are to live in but, never to be apart of. The living and breathing.
It is so amazing and relieves one's stress to get back to the world until we go home once again.
John 15:19-If ye were of the world, the world would love his own; but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you.
Galatians 6:15- But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of flesh.
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
Lost Time (The blog about God and "Doctor Who")
Recently I connected with a well-known series called Dr. Who.
I found out about this man who lives in a blue police box called a "Tardis". He travels through time and space to different planets and worlds. He takes a companion with him who is usually a woman.
He fights and celebrates and almost always wins (there are twists sometimes).
I read a blog about the guy who could do anything and take you anywhere, he was known as indestructable to his enemys and anyone who know him.
He is a funny man. He doesn't know his name and has been alive for hundreds of years.
He has two hearts and is the last of his kind.
His name is the doctor, friend to children, fear to monsters.
They teach in schools about evolution and science always avoiding the facts that lie beneath it. The fact that there really is a God and life that goes beyond what we know. I have been told before that it is ridiculous to think that there are not other living beings out there. Walking and talking, breathing and living.
You see, the universe is much BIGGER than a doctor who rules the sky's or can fly to Mars 10 yrs. earlier.
As much as I enjoy the show "Doctor Who" I have to say it is fiction but, so similar to fact.
The story of the attractive man in a box. Who saves you when you don't know it.
This blog isn't about him though it is about a lesson learned on a larger and grander scale.
God is someone many believe as fiction or don't believe at all they simply are lost. I find though that he is more with that he is someone you can talk and relate to. Cry to when your sad or laugh with when your happy. He takes you on adventures to see different things from different points of view. You can see him... maybe not physically but, with so much more than that. Like a blind person can see the world around her. God gave him/her the sight to see.
In all reality God spoke to me the other day and told me to back away and look around me. At the things I say that I "love" (keep in mind scripture says "God IS Love").
He told me to look at Dr. Who and he showed me that GOD IS MY DOCTOR.
He is the one who will take me on adventures and LOVE me. That he will save me and remake me. That though you can't see him physically now we will one day.
Girls like kind of stuff. Someone to sweep them off their feet. Guys like being the hero. Funny thing is is both girls and guys WANT a hero.
Which is why we like Doctor Who so much.
What keeps a lot of us from seeing the truth is because we want to just SEE. Sometimes it takes believing a little faith to see.
God is my REAL-LIFE doctor as I am his companion. Don't forget that he is handsome and he makes me beautiful.
God is my doctor. God is my reality. My choice and my life. I love him.
The difference: I won't die in the end.
-I will say that God is God and man is man that is the biggest difference in the world.
~John 3:16 - For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
~1 Corinthians 8:6 - But to us [there is but] one God, the Father, of whom [are] all things, and we in him; and one Lord Jesus Christ, by whom [are] all things, and we by him.
~Psalms 110:1 - (A Psalm of David.) The LORD said unto my Lord, Sit thou at my right hand, until I make thine enemies thy footstool.
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
Fear and What's Behind It
Recently, I read a book called, "Divergent".
In it I learned about fear and how it can captivate you. How it can tangle you up and even mess up how you think and react. I also learned about bravery.
We are made to fear. Made to overcome difficulties and challenges.
Until recently I didn't realize that all these sayings that you hear growing up actually mean things! (huh? *gasp*)
Sometimes it means doing something your uncomfortable with or meeting someone new. People are afraid of the unknown. They shouldn't be.
If you are afraid. You must learn to overcome. How? By doing living and experiencing the good and the bad... the unknown.
Only fear GOD! Everything else is nothing compared to him.
I learned that people are different and make different mistakes. This shouldn't stop people from trying to do good. From trying to do better and fix their mistakes. We learn at all ages!
-Tris (main character) taught me a lot of things like:
More about being brave
More about fear and what it will do
Why friends are important
How to be a bad person trying to overcome and learn and be better.
I don't what connects and what doesn't all I can say is that no matter who you are, what your status, or relation is that we are human and sometimes we have to overcome hard stuff to have that peace.
Exodus 14:13 (KJV)
Proverbs 19:23 (ESV)
I have got a lot to learn and at 16 I don't know everything. I know that life is good it is SO GOOD!
This book really gave me courage to face my fears and see and think in a different light. I learned something maybe you can to.
Life is so full of life and God and greatness :) Thank you I hope it connects.
In it I learned about fear and how it can captivate you. How it can tangle you up and even mess up how you think and react. I also learned about bravery.
We are made to fear. Made to overcome difficulties and challenges.
Until recently I didn't realize that all these sayings that you hear growing up actually mean things! (huh? *gasp*)
Sometimes it means doing something your uncomfortable with or meeting someone new. People are afraid of the unknown. They shouldn't be.
If you are afraid. You must learn to overcome. How? By doing living and experiencing the good and the bad... the unknown.
Only fear GOD! Everything else is nothing compared to him.
I learned that people are different and make different mistakes. This shouldn't stop people from trying to do good. From trying to do better and fix their mistakes. We learn at all ages!
-Tris (main character) taught me a lot of things like:
More about being brave
More about fear and what it will do
Why friends are important
How to be a bad person trying to overcome and learn and be better.
I don't what connects and what doesn't all I can say is that no matter who you are, what your status, or relation is that we are human and sometimes we have to overcome hard stuff to have that peace.
Exodus 14:13 (KJV)
"And Moses said unto the people, Fear ye not, stand still, and see the salvation of the Lord, which he will show to you today: for the Egyptians whom ye have seen today, ye shall see them again no more for ever."Luke Ch. 12 V.4-7
"And I say unto you my friends, Be not afraid of them that kill the body, and after that have no more that they can do.
But I will forewarn you whom ye shall fear: Fear him, which after he hath killed hath power to cast into hell; so, I say to you, Fear him.
Are not five sparrows sold for two farthings, and not one of them is forgotten before God?
But even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not therefore: you are of more value than many sparrows."
Proverbs 19:23 (ESV)
"The fear of the Lord leads to life, and whoever has it rests satisfied; he will not be visited by harm."
1 John 4:18 (ESV)
"There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love."
I have got a lot to learn and at 16 I don't know everything. I know that life is good it is SO GOOD!
This book really gave me courage to face my fears and see and think in a different light. I learned something maybe you can to.
Life is so full of life and God and greatness :) Thank you I hope it connects.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)